8 Mindset Tips for Creating a Fulfilling Life


Are you seeking fulfillment in all the wrong places?

What are you really looking for when you scroll Facebook and Instagram? I asked myself this question with the recent, “earth-shattering” social media outage.

It seems the mindless scrolling is a search for some sort of fulfillment. It fills a void yet is hardly satisfying …… kind of like inhaling a whole bag of chips while bingeing Netflix. You’re giving your mind or your physical being something to do, to appease it and fill up space. Seeking fulfillment, yet the end result is frustration as it leaves you wanting more. You’re left comparing yourself to others, seeing the highlights of their lives through their chosen filtered lens.

What does it mean to be fulfilled?

According to Maslow’s Heirarchy of Needs, the need for physical well-being, safety and acceptance must be met before we can seek knowledge and understanding, followed by self-actualization and transcendence at a mental/spiritual level of being.

A tool I found that helps me to cut back on the mindless scrolling is an app called Positive Prime. Using neuroscience – backed technology, an audio-visual Positive Prime session will train your mind by opening the pathways to positive thinking, allowing you to feel happier and fulfilled in as little as 3 minutes.  Imagine what could happen if you spent a few minutes of your day fueling your brain with positivity in place of numbing distractions…..

Mindfulness leads to fulfillment

Fulfillment is defined as a feeling of satisfaction at having achieved your desires. The state of being actual or complete.

Fulfillment comes from within, from experiencing a sense of actualization, accomplishment or completion.

The greatest sense of fulfillment comes from being mindful in anything you do. You can accomplish something and mark it off your to-do list or your bucket list but to be truly fulfilled, you must be present in the moment, acknowledge your achievements, and be grateful for the experience.

Taking steps that lead to a fulfilling life

If you’re dissatisfied with your life, then take action now to make it more fulfilling! It’s as simple as mindset. Here are 8 mindset tips you can start doing today.

1. Begin with looking at yourself. Have self-awareness of how others see you and how you show up in the world. Are you uplifting, positive and fun to be around? If you’re the Negative Nelly in the room, then you need to start making changes to your mindset. Having a negative outlook on life is draining for you and everyone else around you. Practice affirmations to turn negative thoughts into positives. It might seem insignificant but  simply changing your self-talk has a powerful impact on how you view the world around you as well as how others perceive you.

2. At the same time, have self-compassion. Don’t be so demanding of yourself to the point where you’re always disappointed. Have reasonable expectations that allow for growth along with forgiveness. Loving yourself and all your flaws (we all have them) sets the standard for how others receive you. If you define yourself as the one that gets the wrong order at a restaurant whenever you go out, gets screwed over anytime you spend your hard earned money, is late all the time because of freakin’ traffic, etc… then that’s the role you’ll always play. Change your story and make yourself the hero instead of the victim.

3. Be accountable for your actions. You are the sole person responsible for your choices and actions. Don’t look to place blame when things don’t work out. Learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself and move forward. Imagine a life where things happen for you rather than to you.

4. Focus on your goals. What are your big dreams? Make a list of 3 things to focus on everyday that move you closer to your goals so you are continuously making progress. Always have something you’re working towards and be on a path of personal growth, expansion and purpose.

5. Find balance. Allow down time in your day. You don’t always have to be busy and productive. There is fulfillment in slowing down and reflecting on your journey. Be grateful for what you have. Develop a habit of meditating and journaling to expand your consciousness.

6. Celebrate others. Be appreciative of important people in your life. It’s easy to get caught up in complaining and seeing the negative side of people we are close with or picking apart those we don’t even know. Part of living a fulfilling life is about making strong connections. See the good in everyone and express gratitude for them.

I found myself being so impatient at the deli the other day! The clerk was so slow slicing my cheese, I could’ve brought it home and eaten it faster than she was slicing it! I stopped myself from the negative spiral I was headed down and considered the effort she was putting in to properly stacking and placing papers between each slice. Instead of being upset, I waited patiently and when she finally finished, I took a moment to let her know how much I appreciated her. That brief interaction was satisfying for both of us rather than having an unhappy customer and unappreciated employee.

Spend time getting to know others through meaningful conversations. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, open up and be vulnerable. You might be surprised by the connections you make.

7. Have fun. I know this is often tough as an adult. We forget to make the effort to have fun or even know how to have some fun. What hobbies do you have? How do you want to spend your day?  Prioritize doing things that are enjoyable to you and stop trying to please everyone else.

8. Be healthy in body and mind. Take care of your body. The healthier you can be, the better you will feel all around. Your physical health sets the stage for a healthy mind and vice versa. Have a growth mindset so you are open to new ways of thinking.  Make improvements by reaching out for help where you need it whether it’s with a friend, coach, therapist or personal trainer.

Creating the feelings you desire

“If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never be truly fulfilled.” — Lao Tzu

Fulfillment comes from within, from being present and the embracing the feeling of being satisfied.

Drop into your heart space, be present and aware, have gratitude and create the sense of fulfillment you are seeking. Allow it to fill your heart and spread through you and out of you to others. This feeling of fulfillment carries a high vibration which leads to a more peaceful and happy existence.

So tell me, do you feel fulfilled in your day-to-day life? What would you need to add or eliminate to feel even more fulfilled? Comment below with something that is working for you. I can’t wait to hear about it!

Your Zen Friend,


“To live a life fulfilled, reflect on the things you have with gratitude. ” — Jaren Davis

Transform – Let go of resistance and allow change to happen

I find myself questioning age calculations lately. How have I been a massage therapist for 26 years already? Is that right? Is it really 22 years ago that my friend got married? How is my daughter turning 18 this year? The math has to be off! I remember thinking how “old” my friend seemed when she said she was going to her 30 year high school reunion and here I am past that now. It goes so quick and sometimes we get stuck in the past, dwelling on how many years have passed by.

Resistance is a force that opposes motion, change or progress

Resistance is a force. Not just staying the same but physically, mentally, emotionally opposing what the future holds.

We have no way of knowing where life will take us in the future. Remember being in high school and wondering what everyone would look like or be like in 20 years, what the world would be like? Is it different than you thought? Did you think the fashion or music would always be the same? I loved the 80s hair bands, still do! Every generation has their own way, their own likes and dislikes and it seems if it’s different from how your generation did it (and it most definitely is), then it’s just wrong.

I’m more of a middle ground person, it’s in my nature. I’m an Aquarius who allows others to be themselves as long as I also get to be myself. I’m also a peacemaker so I am capable, sometimes to a fault, to see everyone’s perspectives on almost any situation. So the way I see it, we can’t fault the younger generations for their ways. The Boomers don’t like how Gen X does things either. I know this is not a popular opinion but I feel like we should let the Millennials and Gen Z find their own way, just like we did.

Most people tend to resist change because the new way of doing things is unfamiliar, nontraditional and let’s be honest, most of us just don’t like change.

What are you resisting right now? What are you holding on to?

Getting stuck in how things used to be will prevent you from moving forward in life. We weren’t meant to be stagnant or remain the same. Our purpose is for growth and expansion. We have to be willing to let go and accept that change is going to happen.

Easier said than done

We focus on all the things we’re unable to do that we used to do, no problem. Start to recognize something you can do now that you weren’t able to do when you were younger. What new habits or ways of doing things  have you brought in to your life? What are some things you appreciate about the younger generations now and the way they do things?

Have you kept up with the new technology or do you maybe need a little help? The kids now almost come pre-programmed and ready to grow with technology. Let them help you.

I was laughing with my friend the other day when she was attempting to answer her phone in the car but didn’t know whether the audio would come on through the speakers, the phone or her air pods … me too!! We are those people that are doing our best to keep up with it all but are struggling sometimes. You have to go with the flow of these changes.

Practice acceptance

Growth begins when we begin to accept our own weakness.  ~ Jean Vanier

Be open. Allow change to happen. Resistance is what makes it difficult.

We can’t foresee the future, not 30 years, not even 30 minutes. But we can choose every minute, every day, what we do want and how we respond to any situation. We can choose to be okay with it.

Acceptance is the act of allowing.

Letting go of resistance.

Allowing what is.

Accepting where you are.


Acceptance and resistance both create change

Acceptance and resistance are both actions, an act of allowing or an act of opposing. You choose which you are doing. Neither is passive. While the intention of resistance is to keep things the same, change is almost always inevitable.

So which do you choose, acceptance or resistance?

Chunking it down

If you’re having a hard time letting go of resistance, you can chunk it down into manageable increments. What is one small part of the bigger picture that you can accept? Start there and work your way through, step by step.

I don’t like physically aging and how everything is being done differently than it was when I was growing up …

… I’m resistant to the years passing by. So many things have ended before I was ready for them to …

… The changes are unfamiliar to me. I don’t feel comfortable. I have anxiety about everything happening around me that’s not in my control …

… I understand there is a time to allow a new way of doing things …

… I enjoy not having to be in control of it all …

… There are some parts of this that I have to admit are really exceptional …

… The more I observe and have experienced, the more I am able to appreciate all that is …

… I accept that I have moved into a more mature state of wisdom …

… I allow for change to occur as it is necessary in our evolution …

… I embrace the change that is occurring as part of our expansion of consciousness …

… I am at peace with my self, my surroundings and my experience …

Use this exercise with anything that feels overwhelming to you. Transform through these small steps that lead to a higher level of consciousness, allowing energy to flow and expansion to occur.

Tell me about your experience and reach out if you need help working through any resistance that is holding you back.

Your Zen Friend,


Adulting – Midlife Version

This past week, my mom and I took my niece and my daughter to Tallahassee to begin getting my niece prepared for her Fall start at FSU. My daughter will be starting college the following year, so we’ll be touring campuses for her too. So much excitement in knowing they will be starting their journey into adulthood, being independent and responsible for themselves, and having the freedom to make the choices they want, but so scary … lots of big changes ahead for them and for me!

Moving ahead in baby steps

I’m realizing it’s something to take in every single moment as the changes are taking place. At 17 and 19, there’s still a lot of teenager going on. I see where they want to be independent but also want things taken care of for them. They want to take charge but don’t know all the bases that need to be covered. They want freedom but not all the responsibility.

I talk to my daughter about being on her own, self-awareness, awareness of her surroundings, being prepared for the unexpected. She’s doing more daily things on her own as she discovers her independence. She has a bit of work experience which has helped her to be more outgoing and assertive. She and her boyfriend recently drove several hours out of town for the first time to go to an NBA game. This was a bigger step for me than for her. She took the initiative to use GrubHub to have cookies delivered to her at 1 AM (bonus: with her own money!) instead of complaining to me that she wanted something. I’m cautious but I put my fears aside, take a step back to allow her to lead and support her through making her own decisions whether I totally agree with them or not.

We help our children transition into adulthood by providing guidance and giving space for growth, allowing them to make mistakes. Baby steps. Gradual.

Yet, I still find myself with so many questions with unknown answers that will have to be planned and figured out as we go along.

What if I’m not ready for them to leave? How does this change the day to day routine? What about all the girl’s days shopping and getting pedicures and the summer trips to the Keys we do together? I cherish these as it’s been our tradition for the four of us to do together. Is it coming to an end? Will we be able to still find time to do these things together?

But I wasn’t ready!

We instinctively prepare our kids for the next steps as they grow from baby to toddler to teen and into adulthood. But who prepares us as adults?

It seems there is a stopping point. We keep going physically but often we hit a wall and don’t want or know how to go further.

It’s a lot to process and can be overwhelming. Any significant life transition most likely will feel this way.

What do you do once the kids have left? Who do you become when you’re no longer so busy being Mom? How do you spend your down time you longed for but now are so lost with what to do?

Have you felt this way before? Who is preparing YOU for your next season?

Steps to ease a transition

You can move forward gracefully and with a plan. It’s an opportunity to create the life YOU want. It’s your time to make decisions, to take the lead, to know what you want and how it looks and what you want to feel … much like a teenager becoming an adult …

  1. Recognize the parts of what’s changing that you are trying to hold on to. What are your fears? Are they valid or is your anxiety taking hold of the unknown? Accept that you are feeling this way, give yourself permission to be a little scared and nurture yourself rather than trying to push through. Embrace what you are feeling. Write it down in a journal and/or talk about it with someone. My friend Lisa had expressed about a personal transition she went through, “Stay in the moment, expecting the best although not knowing how it will play out. Mentally, I was able to prepare and plan but the emotional hurdles of transition were the most challenging.”
  2. Find support through a friend, coach, counselor, mentor or someone has been through a similar experience and has reached a positive outcome. Be careful not to get wrapped up in a complaining session. Use communication as a breakthrough rather than finding company in your woes. It’s always easier to meet the lower vibration but you can take the lead here and even be a motivator to someone else.
  3. Look to the future. What are you looking forward to as a result of the journey? There is always something waiting on the other side … so many possibilities! Are you going to have more time on your hands? Consider all the new opportunities available to you. What have you been putting on the back burner that you’ll finally have time for? (Give this some thought, journal through some ideas … you may not be used to thinking about yourself first.) Be open to the growth process.
  4. Let go of any resistance you are still feeling. Know that you are going through a transformation and it can be uncomfortable. Be okay with that and allow it to happen naturally.
  5. Explore helpful tools that might be new to you. If you have never meditated before, now is an opportune time to start. When I’m going through any kind of stressful situation, I prioritize my meditation practice. With a clear mind, I find I’m able to stay more relaxed and calm, make better decisions, process through my thoughts as I recognize the repeating patterns and let them flow through me, and not be overwhelmed with everything going on. Insight Timer or the Calm app are very easy to get started with.

You got this!

The most important thing is not to get stuck. Take advantage of the opportunity to visualize the life you want on the other side and set manifestation in progress through your thoughts and actions. This is your time to CREATE THE LIFE YOU DESIRE!

If you are in a stage of transition right now, what does the process look like for you, how are you moving forward and where do you want to end up? Message me or post in the comments. I’d love to hear about it!

Your Zen Friend,


Life as we now know it … looking beyond a crisis that is changing the world

The current moment seems so overwhelming and challenging to settle into. The change from everyone constantly on the go, living in a state of never ending busyness, to having to slow down and dismiss the majority of normal daily obligations and activities.

School has been cancelled. People are working from home. Small businesses have been forced to close their doors for who knows how long. No family gatherings. No socializing with friends. Restaurants open only for pick up and delivery. Every part of normal as we know it is gone. “Social distancing” and “flattening the curve” are embedded in every moment of our day when just a couple months ago, we never even spoke these words.

I believe that to get through this difficult time, we have to begin to shift our focus to what life after the crisis will look like.

We can sit and watch the devastation unfold with real time updates on the pandemic, (the media has a captive audience right now),  or we can spend the time being present and make valuable use of our time. Valuable being time to rest, time to catch up, time with family, time being productive.  I’ll admit, while it seems like an easy choice to make, it’s really hard to get in the right mindset with all the uncertainty we are facing. I have struggled for various reasons and my good intentions for this much needed time off have not come together as I had hoped. It’s totally normal to go back and forth. Be patient with yourself and find your balance.

Now what?

One thing is certain, we now have what so many seem to be lacking the most in their lives…time.

It’s always your choice how you spend your time. Maybe what you need is to binge watch Netflix, catch up on shows and movies you’ve been wanting to watch. Take advantage of all the free concerts being streamed, virtual classes and tours being offered. I love this. I love the innovation. I love that we have access to all these things.

Sooner or later though, you have to look beyond the present. Look to the time after the pandemic has passed. What will life be like after Covid-19?  There will be significant changes in the world, no doubt. Your life as you have known it will be different. Probably in more ways than one. Maybe in ways that you couldn’t have foreseen.

Is there a positive to it all?

Now is the time to start looking at what you want your life to be and the future you want to create. Start making a plan. Start making lists. Jot down your ideas. Take any classes or webinars you need to learn new skills. Take action on anything and everything you can right now to prepare for life after Covid-19. This could be a really great opportunity to reset and restart the life you desire or enhance what you already have that’s working for you.

  • What life will you create for yourself?
  • What opportunities have you let pass you by because the timing wasn’t right and now you actually have the time?
  • What changes do you want make in your daily routine?
  • What traditions do you want to bring back or start?
  • What have you realized you can eliminate from your life?
  • What activities have you been doing that you want to continue with?

This is a time for personal growth and development. Be aware of what you are experiencing mentally, emotionally, spiritually.  Be conscious of the energy you are allowing in as well as putting out. How are you affecting your own reality? Keep your vibration high and limit unnecessary negativity. Get deep into thought, prayer, meditation, journaling and find your inner guidance.

“If everything around you seems dark, look again. You may be the light.”  –Rumi


Find a comfortable spot to sit or lie down.

Close your eyes and notice your breathing, being aware of each breath as you inhale and exhale, slowing it down as you breathe in to a count of 5 ….. pause ….. and breathe out to a count of 5. Continue this pattern for several moments and feel yourself becoming more and more relaxed. Release any tension in your shoulders, your neck and your back as you breathe deeply into these areas.

Notice any thoughts that begin to surface, acknowledge them and then let them go without any fear or judgement.

Now, imagine yourself outside in the warm sunlight, a gentle breeze
across your skin, the comforting feeling of peace and calm surrounds
you. Expand your vision to the open area around you and the fresh air you are breathing into your lungs. Notice the sky above and soft clouds slowly drifting by.

Start to think about your friends and family that you enjoy spending time with and how good it feels to be surrounded by the people you love. Remember their laughter and love, the hugging, touching, embracing, conversations, and just being comfortable in each other’s presence.

Put yourself in the future, several months from now when we are able to gather with everyone and return to work and living life fully ….. what does that look like for you? ….. Where do you see yourself? ….. Who are you with? ….. What are you doing? ….. You are creating it in this moment ….. what is important to you?

What are you glad you spent time on? How is it benefiting you now? Think about the new things you learned and how you’re able to put that to use in life as you now know it. Be grateful that you finally had time to clear the clutter from your home and start with a fresh palette. Think about the projects you completed and how accomplished you feel. You’re now able to share and enjoy your efforts with others. What else are you bringing with you into your new life?

Live in this possibilty for a moment. Feel the gratitude you have for everyone and everything. Be proud of yourself for enduring and making it through to the other side. Know that you did the best you could. Breathe in and embrace life as you now know it.

I’d love to hear what your positve experiences have been! Please reach out if you need help in creating that shift.

Your zen friend,


Rechargable Massage Gun Review – Is it good for pain relief?

Product: SOAIY 20 speed Rechargable Massage Gun

SOAIY Massage Gun

Price:  $109.99 (retail)
Cheapest Place to Buy: Amazon


1. Button: Touch Button

2. Speed Mode: 20 gears

3. Vibration Frequency: 400-3200rmp

4. Noise Level: 40db

5. Charging Voltage: 16.8v–1A

6. Battery Capacity: 2500mA

7. Charging Time: About 4 hours

8. Working Time: About 8 hours ( in
the first gear)

My Rating: 9 out of 10

How difficult is it to get someone at home to massage your back or
your shoulders? Do you ever feel like you just need something to really get in
there and relieve the pain?

Then you need to try a massage gun for pain relief at home!

What exactly is a “massage gun” and why should you get one?

A massage gun is a handheld rechargeable device that is used at home, at the gym or on the go to relieve muscle tightness and tension.

It’s a handy tool to have around when you need a deep tissue massage but can’t make it in to your therapist right away. The massage gun is fantastic for self-care.

No, it’s not a professional massage

A massage gun is not going to be the same as going and getting a professional therapeutic massage but it is likely going to give you some sort of relief.

You will have to be the judge of how much pressure to use, what areas to use it in, how long to massage for and unless you have someone at home willing to do the massaging for you, you’ll have to do that yourself too. This tool is designed where it’s long enough and light enough to reach almost any area of your body on your own.

How do I use it?

Generally, you’ll want to apply enough pressure to feel the gun massager firmly on the muscle. Too little pressure will be ticklish and too much pressure is unnecessary. If you want it to be more intense, then use a higher speed.

Apply the massage gun to any areas where you feel muscle tightness. Don’t massage in one spot for too long. Muscles work together in groups, so broaden the area you are massaging to cover multiple muscles. Stay away from bony areas and work larger muscle areas instead.

Locate “trigger points” or areas where pain tends to localize. A trigger point may refer pain or a numbing sensation to other areas of body. If you find a trigger point, stay on it for 15 – 60 seconds. Once a trigger point is released, the pain will subside significantly.

Use different heads that come with the device for different areas and pressure.

I tend to get irritated with too long of a consistent vibration so I use the massager in short increments. Typically, 3-5 minutes at a time. If you are comfortable, you can certainly go longer than this or even do a full body massage.

Which massage gun is right for you?

All massage guns come with different settings for speed and vibration patterns. This can range from 4 settings to 80 settings. I personally don’t see the need for an excessive amount of settings so more is not better in my opinion.

Massage guns also come with different heads for various parts of the body, ranging from broad to specific areas. 6 different heads should be sufficient to cover any area.

You want a massage gun that is not going to be too loud or disruptive. Most seem to be fairly quiet with a sound decibel of 40db.

Battery life and recharging time are approximately 6-8 hours of battery life with a lithium rechargeable battery and 4 hours to fully recharge.

All parts of the gun will come in a convenient case for easy storage and portability.

Looking at all the different options of massage guns, my recommendation is the SOAIY Massage Gun, 20 Speeds Super Quiet Rechargeable Massage Gun Muscle Massager, Cordless Handheld Deep Tissue Percussion Massage Gun for Athletes, Back, Neck Pain Relief with 6 Heads, Carrying Case.

The price is in the median range and less than some other similar quality massage guns. If you want a higher quality professional massage gun, you’re going to pay quite a bit more. This is important if you’re going to use it in a clinical setting but for home use, the SOAIY Massage Gun is more than sufficient.

I’m curious to know what your experience has been with pain relief using the SOAIY Massage Gun. Please share your experience in the comments!

Creating healthy intimacy with partner self-care

Self-care can be a fun date type day/night for couples who want to do something positive and healthy for each other. As women, we know how important it is to prioritize ourselves but most often don’t do it and for men it seems to be a non-existent, taboo topic.

Take care of yourself

Nothing is better than showing someone how much you care by supporting them in bettering themselves and that you are willing to take care of yourself as well. Guys, I can tell you from personal experience that your woman will love you jumping on board with this (bonus points for taking the initiative) and you might find that you actually like it too and that’s OK!

So what types of things can you do that are couple friendly? There are plenty of options you can enjoy at home for an intimate evening of self-care.

Brushing Up

One of my favorites that my boyfriend and I do often is body brushing. He was surprised how much he enjoyed receiving this the first time we tried it and he loves giving it too! It’s very intimate, relaxing and even sensual. You just need a soft bristle body brush and you can add your favorite essential oils such as lemongrass or grapefruit if you’d like. Use soft, brisk strokes, stroking towards the heart, covering all areas of the body, front and back. This is easiest to do laying down on the bed and follow it up with a shower to rinse off the dead skin cells. Body brushing is not only great for softening your skin, it also boosts your immune system, increases lymphatic flow, improves circulation and relaxes the nervous system. Take turns doing this to each other and you’ll be amazed how relaxed and connected you’ll feel to your partner.

The Mask

Face masks are always a fun favorite. It’s quick and easy to do with very little effort. You can get individual packets of various masks. Get several and keep them on hand for anytime you want a little pampering. Apply the masks for each other as a way to create intimacy and usually a good laugh too. Make sure you take a pic for fun and memories. Add a sugar lip scrub to enhance the experience and leave you both with soft, sweet, smooth lips…

Elier Mud Mask


On the topic of scrubs…body scrubs are amazing, especially when your partner is the one scrubbing your back and whole body in the shower with an awesome smelling salt scrub. I typically add Rosemary and Lavender Essential Oils to Himalayan Salt and mix with fractionated coconut oil. Use soft scrubbing shower gloves or your bare hands and enjoy the stimulating experience.

And a rub

Massage cupping is an easy to learn technique that is therapeutic, fun to learn and experiment with and feels fantastic. Give feedback to let your massage buddy know how much pressure is good and what speed is best for you. It can be a little intense in areas so don’t try to rush through too quickly. I use fractionated coconut oil to make the glide easy. You can incorporate cupping into a massage or if you don’t feel confident in your massaging skills then stick with just the cups. It works wonders for relieving muscle tightness.

Here are some other massage tools you can try that will relieve stress and tension without feeling like you need to be a professional for it to be effective.

Thumper Sport

Deep Tissue Handheld Percussion Massager

Out and about

If you want to venture out for a day of self-care, you have a lot of options to choose from. Here are some ideas to check out:

  • Massage
  • Salt room
  • Gym
  • Yoga
  • Pedicures
  • Facials/hot shave
  • Sunset cruise
  • Beach
  • Air boat ride
  • Fishing
  • Paddleboarding
  • Hiking/Running/Biking
  • Exploring each others hobbies/crafts/interests

The idea is to have fun and enjoy your relaxing time, nurturing each other and feeling mutually cared for. It’s a fantastic relationship enhancer that you’ll want to add to your repertoire of date night activities.

Keep your love tank full and everyone around you will benefit.

Your zen friend,


Getting healthier in the New Year with some old and some new habits

Happy New Year! I’m happy to say that I’ve started my New Year off right so far with some old and some new healthier habits. I even started on January 1st which is very unusual for me but it was time. Plus, with the holiday being in the middle of the week, waiting for Monday (and I love my Mondays!) did not seem like a good option.

End of the year stress

How is it that things like our health can get so out of hand in just one, give or take depending on how long you’ve been celebrating, month? It’s like everything gets off track, you don’t know if you’re coming or going, everything is a party or super stressful, schedules and routines go out the window and life becomes complete chaos. Not to mention, 2019 was honestly one of the most stressful years I’ve had in a while. I don’t like to ever blame a particular year for stress but, yeah, 2019 was a doozy. So anyhow, here we are back at it for another new beginning, another 366 opportunities, another year of hopes, dreams and goals for 2020.

Turning it around

I have some things that are really going right for me at the moment and I feel it is because I jumped right in to my goals on January 1st instead of procrastinating like I often do. Here are some things I’m working on right now.

1. Cleaned up my eating. (This is always a given for January 1st.) I gave up all the snacks I’ve been living on for the last month. Threw out all the leftovers, the cookies, fudge, cheese (ok, I kept the cheese, it’s low carb), gave up all the stuff that makes me want to indulge a little too much. I’ve found that a low carb eating style really works pretty well for me. I’ve never committed fully enough to consider it to be keto, but my choices lean towards low carb, protein, some fat, lots of veggies, little bit of fruit, nuts, and minimal to no processed foods.

2. No alcohol. This one is tough for me. I’ve gotten into a pretty solid routine of nightly wine for some time now. And also added in on the regular…some beer, a few different rums, peanut butter whiskey, Café Patron…ok, yeah, time to make some changes. Seems I’ve heard that 1-3 drinks per week is considered acceptable for health and social appropriateness. So that will be my goal from here on out. 1-3 total drinks per week. Not totally eliminating but getting good control over it. I’ve started drinking some hot teas as an alternative just to give me something else to not get bored. Alcohol has become, or maybe it has always been, such an integral part of society and of our daily and social lives. It’s the Mommy juice, girls night, relaxation, every occasion mandatory beverage. If you need a little motivation to cut back yourself, check out This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. She puts a whole new perspective on alcohol that will make you rethink your choices.

3. 30 Day Yoga Journey. I miss yoga. I don’t know what happened to my yoga practice but it has been non-existent for way too long. I have been following Yoga with Adriene on YouTube and always recommend her for anyone looking to get started with yoga. She has videos for everything from low back pain to anxiety to sleep, stressful day, morning stretch, weight loss… you name it, she has it. This series is called Home and is about coming back to what feels good and what your heart desires. Adriene’s little nuances and cute dog Benji will suck you in for sure. My yoga practice is part of me getting back to myself. I’ve realized that over this past year, I’ve let go of being concerned with myself on so many levels. I wasn’t prioritizing myself, even though I preach it all the time. I wasn’t making time for anything having to do with me. Yoga is 30 minutes a day for me. We all deserve that. Seriously.

4. 30 Day Squat Challenge. This just gets me back into a little bit of a physical activity routine. I did it last year but sadly didn’t continue past the 30 days. This year, I’m consciously creating a better routine with it instead of just getting it done. Not having wine and not doing them at 10:00 at night is proving to be a better habit than how it went last year and hopefully will continue. By day 30 I’ll be doing 100 squats per day.

5. Meditation. Download the Insight Timer App. Pick your time and your topic. Just do it. I’ve been meditating for years, actually since I started massage school 25 years ago.  Most days I do only 10 minutes but it makes a world of difference. I love that my boyfriend has taken on this routine with me. I believe the world would be a much better place if we all took just 10 minutes a day to meditate.

6. Vision Board. This is going to be an annual tradition. New Year’s Day, we all sat down and went through magazines, I had some really old magazines at my office but we even bought a few new ones for this purpose. I found that my travel and more extravagant selections were limited, so how could I create my vision for 2020 with those kind of limitations? It was really a nice afternoon spent with my boyfriend, my daughter and her friend. Such a feel good kind of day. Exactly as it should be.

Vision board 2020 2Vision board 2020 1

7. Celery juice. I feel so good drinking celery juice. It’s technically not juice, I guess, I do it in my Nutribullet which is super easy and it gets done and I drink it. The clean up is so easy and you don’t need 20 stalks of celery for a tiny bit of juice. I use maybe 2 or 3 and throw in some kale, spinach, blueberries, cilantro, ginger or whatever is on hand and goes good with it. I know there is debate on what is better, juicing or using the whole vegetable. Like I said, when it’s easy, I can do it in about 5 minutes, it tastes great…that’s what counts for me and I’m getting some super healthy nutrients into my body, benefiting in ways such as helping digestion and decreasing bloating, improved cholesterol and reduced blood pressure. You’ll just feel healthier drinking it. It’s cleansing and refreshing.

Healthier new year celery juice

Nutribullet celery juice

8. Apple Cider Vinegar. This is an old go to for me. Anytime I’m feeling boggy, blah and just run down, a few glasses of apple cider vinegar perks me back up. I feel like it’s so cleansing to my body. Not everyone loves the taste so there are gummies that may be more tolerable for you or you can add honey, lemon or add it to your tea. I’ve come to love and even crave the taste of it at times. The benefits of apple cider vinegar are numerous, ranging from heart health to weight loss to lowering blood sugar levels. You’ll want to get organic apple cider vinegar and with the “mother” (aka the floaty stuff).

9. Happy Coffee. Where would I be without my happy coffee? The stressful year I mentioned earlier…not really sure how I would have gotten by without happy coffee. It seriously made every day just a little more manageable and helped me to know that I could make it through. No, I’m not talking about Starbucks or your everyday ordinary coffee. Happy Coffee is a special blend of nootropic ingredients that promote the release of your happiness hormones resulting in improved mood, increased energy and even weight loss as a bonus. I personally lost 25 pounds this year! It’s now also available as lemonade for an additional afternoon boost. I’ll be starting that next week so I will keep you posted how it goes.

10. Massage Therapy. You wouldn’t believe how infrequently I’ve gotten massages this past year or two. I will say that my boyfriend gives a fantastic massage (and pedicure for that matter). I am certainly grateful for that, but taking an hour of your day a couple times a month, to forget about the world and all your stress, and give your body the attention it needs to let go and be completely at peace, is one of the most healing things, mentally and physically, you can do for yourself. As a massage therapist, again I preach this and tell people how important it is to take care of themselves but I’ve not made it a priority in my own life recently. I already called and scheduled my first massage for this month, I’m also planning on a facial and a pedicure.

All the feels

So, basically I’ve jumped all in on some old habits and some new ones this past week. I’m sure some will go by the wayside but my intention is to continue prioritizing my self, my health and my choices. What it really comes down to is how you want to feel. I recently purchased a book called The Desire Map for a friend who is going through a time of renewal and redirection. It’s all about setting goals based on how you want to feel. The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte is an amazing guide to help you start off your New Year based on your burning desires and core beliefs. I’m so thankful I thought of this book for my friend because it reminded me that I was overdue for an overhaul on my own intentions and desires. I’m sure that’s had a huge impact on my current motivation.

I hope this has been inspiring to you. I hope you are reminded to prioritize yourself. Please reach out if you’d like any additional info on the topics I talked about. I always love to connect with anyone open to growth and inspiration in their lives.

Be healthy and zen,


Top 10 ways to stop procrastinating

Overcoming procrastination is definitely a work in progress but it can be done. Most people procrastinate to some extent occasionally but when it’s the daily norm and your to do list just keeps growing and piles keep building up, it becomes a problem.

Why do we procrastinate?

I have always been an extreme procrastinator and have felt the negative impacts of not getting things done timely. So why do I do it? There are many excuses that come to mind and they are just that…excuses. It’s too hard. It’s unknown. It seems like it will take too much time. I don’t have time. I don’t have everything I need. I think of something as an overwhelming project instead of taking simple steps towards accomplishing a larger project. I don’t know where to start. I don’t have the money. I don’t have the resources. I didn’t realize it was urgent. I’m scared to face it. Fear of the unknown. Fear of getting it wrong. It’s not a priority.

Sound familiar?

Your subconscious mind causes you to avoid things that are unpleasant or that you’ve had a negative response to in the past. Many of the techniques in the top 10 ways to stop procrastinating I’ve listed here involve tapping into the subconscious mind and dealing with the root cause of procrastination.

Negative effects of procrastination

I procrastinate on things and it costs me money when I pay bills late or miss opportunities. I stress over simple things that I could easily mark off my list but instead it stays with me for days, weeks, months without being done. Things spiral out of control when I don’t tend to what I need to get done. Sometimes it leads to extreme urgency to get something accomplished which leads to other things being neglected. Procrastination is disempowering.

Here are just some of the negative effects of procrastination of which I am all too familiar with:

  • Lost Money
  • Wasted Time
  • Missed opportunity
  • Stress
  • Anxiety
  • Worry
  • Others being angry
  • Missed deadlines
  • Extra work

Top 10 ways to STOP procrastinating

I have learned many different ways to overcome procrastination. Even in writing this post, I am learning by reminding myself and sorting through what keeps me from taking action and achieving my goals. Here are the top 10 ways to stop procrastinating that I have had the most success with.

    1. Mel Robbins’s 5 second rule — Mel Robbins has been all the rage over the last year or so. Her top selling book, The 5 second rule, teaches a simple and effective technique to stop overthinking and take action. It is so simple but effective in the way that it redirects the neural pathway to take immediate action.
    2. Hypnotherapy — Hypnotherapy has gotten a bad rap with the use of stage hypnosis for entertainment. However, the therapy is making a comeback into mainstream mental wellness. Hypnotherapy delves into the subconscious mind where our long held beliefs about what is safe for us is stored. A certified hypnotherapist can effectively guide you through the process to let go of the beliefs that no longer serve us. You can also find numerous recordings specific to procrastination such as my personal favorite by Grace Smith of Grace Space Hypnotherapy.
    3. Emotional Freedom Technique — EFT is a holistic technique based on ancient Chinese acupressure combined with modern psychology. It involves tapping on specific meridian points while focusing on negative emotions, thus rewiring the thought pattern in a more desirable way. EFT can be taught by a practitioner or you can learn it yourself through courses and videos available online.
    4. Journaling — Grab a notebook or pen and paper and just start writing. Ask yourself questions. What is preventing you from taking action? Don’t overthink it, just let the thoughts flow from your mind to the paper as quickly as they come. Get out as many thoughts as you can and then go back and look for any answers or possibly even solutions. Not taking the time to think about what you’re writing allows the subconscious to take the lead.
    5. Meditation — Spend 10 minutes meditating to clear your mind and start with a blank slate. When you have too many things running through your mind, you’ll be overwhelmed and not know where to focus your attention.
    6. Get organized — First things first. Spend 10 minutes getting your area organized and free of distractions so you can focus on what needs to be done. If there’s just too much going on to do this, take what you need and go sit at a coffee shop.
    7. Have a routine — How you start your day has a huge impact on the rest of your day. Develop a routine that gets you started in the right direction from the beginning. Make your list and prioritize what’s important and how you intend to proceed with the day.
    8. Mindfulness –Stop and take a few deep breaths. Notice what you are doing. Where is your mind? What are you thinking about? Bring yourself back to the present moment. Make this a habit to use often throughout the day.
    9. Be prepared – Strategize, Confidence, Knowledge — Know what you’re doing going into a project. Map out the steps and what you need to do first. Breaking tasks down into smaller, manageable steps prevents overwhelm.
    10. Aroma Freedom Technique — AFT uses aromatherapy in a step by step process to release negative thought patters, feelings and memories that interfere with reaching our goals. It sets energy flowing in a positive direction of growth and expansion.

Recognize when and why you are procrastinating. What thoughts and emotions does it trigger? What are you gaining?

What things do you tend to procrastinate on? When do you find yourself procrastinating?

Share your insights in the comments.

Your zen friend,


Take a self-awareness day for your own well-being

What exactly does it mean to be self-aware?

Being self-aware means being conscious of the thoughts within your mind, the space around you and the effect you have on people around you.

Why spend a day being self-aware?

Self-awareness seems like a simple enough task but it can actually be quite challenging and does require practice. Spend an entire self-awareness day to experience what it’s like to be present in every moment and be ok with it. Remind yourself to come back every time your thoughts start spiraling. Notice the calmness that takes over as you become conscious of yourself. In the days that follow, you will recognize when you start to wander and you can bring yourself back to the present.

Awareness of your mind – Introspection

The first thing you want to be aware of is your mind. Introspection is defined as the examination of one’s own conscious thoughts and feelings. People often ignore or are not even aware of their thoughts.

Spend time each day listening to what is going on in your mind. It’s sometimes easier to drown your thoughts out with distractions like watching TV, working, busyness or even other people’s problems. At the end of the day, your thoughts are still with you. Listen and acknowledge them. The more you are able to do so, the better you’ll be able to process your thoughts and move forward through them.

Notice when you have something on your mind…when the thoughts of a situation are overwhelming and all-consuming. Listen to the thoughts you are having…

  • Do you notice a pattern?
  • Do the thoughts repeat themselves over and over?
  • How much time are you spending on one single thought or a series of thoughts?

Make a mental note or even write down the thoughts you are having. By breaking them down in this way, you can begin to look at it from an outside view and potentially come up with a solution.

Here are some questions to ask yourself in order to process through what’s going on in your mind:

  • What is this thought trying to tell me?
  • Did someone influence this thought?
  • Do I believe this thought?
  • Is this thought helpful or just a distraction?
  • Is there any action I need to take on this thought?
  • What does this thought bring me to next?

Take responsibility for your thoughts. You are in control.

Body Awareness – Proprioception

Proprioception is the sense of the relative position of one’s own parts of the body and strength of effort being employed in movement. It is also referred to as the “sixth sense”.

Awareness of your physical presence includes not only your body, but your energetic field, the vibe you put out to the world. Body awareness is important for physical well-being and also as another form of consciousness that impacts yourself and your surroundings.

Turn off your thoughts for a moment and experience only your physical presence. How does it feel?

  • Light?
  • Heavy?
  • Comfortable?
  • Awkward?
  • Painful?
  • Crooked?
  • Flexible?
  • What does it feel like to move slowly?
  • What does the energy associated with it feel like?

Have you ever been to a concert, positioned yourself in the perfect space for watching the show and out of nowhere, the tallest person in the crowd comes out of nowhere and stands directly in front of you, blocking your view?

Have you had days that you seem to constantly be tripping on or running into other people?

Don’t be that person! Be aware of your self and your effect on others around you.

Awareness in Relationships with Others

Self-awareness in your relationships with people means being aware of how your story, emotions and actions impact the people in your life.

Everything you’ve been through in life shows up in your relationships. How you were treated in the past by a parent or a partner results in how you currently respond to a situation. You may have triggers that you automatically respond to without thinking. Recognizing your response will allow you to stop and readjust in a more productive way.

Imagine yourself in an argument where you want to come to an amicable solution. Think about the energy you are putting out as this will likely affect the outcome. Are you listening and open or are you just trying to be right? This can be sensed in your posture. Your posture might put out a sense of confidence or it may put out a sense of weakness. Know what your position is and adjust it if necessary.

Knowing yourself better will help to build deeper, more meaningful relationships.

Benefits of Self-Awareness

Self awareness allows us to observe how we react to external stimuli or situations. Our response is created from our internal mental processing. Being self-aware of the process allows one to choose how to respond vs being reactive.

  • You’ll begin to recognize your thoughts as they happen and therefore be able to choose how you respond to them.
  • Self-awareness brings one into the present moment, decreasing anxiety by staying present, letting go of worry, regret and blame.
  • Self-awareness = responsibility
  • Understand others and how they perceive you
  • Opportunity to make positive changes in oneself

Self-awareness empowers you to take control of your life. You are the one directing your li

fe and your thoughts rather than being controlled and

dictated by them. Spend the day focusing on th

e present moment, your thoughts, your actions, your surroundings, your impact on everything and everyone around you…and you’ll never look at life the same way again.

What do you think? Are you willing to spend more time being self-aware? Give a self-awareness day a try and then let me know how you did!

Your zen friend,


Reiki Healing Meditation and a Good Night’s Sleep

Reiki experienceLast night, my boyfriend and I went to a reiki healing meditation circle. If you haven’t done this before, I highly recommend checking it out for a totally calming and peaceful Friday night followed up by a good night’s sleep. Reiki healing meditation circles are typically held at your local metaphysical store or spiritual center. If you’re not sure where to go, check with your massage therapist or yoga studio for some guidance.

Reiki is fairly new for my boyfriend. It was only his 2nd time going. He’s not exactly the meditation type. His meditation would be something more like pacing the house while he’s on the phone or relaxing with a sci-fi movie…but he absolutely loves it!! I know how much he benefits from it since he tends to have high amounts of stress and some difficulty sleeping. I usually have to remind him how much he enjoys it and give him a little nudge and then he’s always happy in the end that he did go.

It’s quite the variety of unique people you’ll find at a reiki healing circle. It’s even great stress relief for teens (if you can get them to join you…mine will not). If not, you’ll be less stressed and better able to deal with them after you’ve been.

The people who attend sometimes seem to speak their own spiritual type of language. You’ll hear things like chi, vibration, gratitude, presence, awareness, universal life force, etc.

Reiki is spiritual in nature but it is not a religion. It doesn’t require any belief for it to work. It’s performed by a laying on of hands. It can be done one on one or in a group.

The word Reiki is broken down to:-

Rei –  higher power

Ki – life force energy

Zen candle

In a reiki circle, people will be seated comfortably in chairs forming a circle. The session may begin with a guided meditation to set the tone of the experience. Last night we were guided deep into the sea, imagining ourselves as the water itself, vast and flowing without boundaries. There are several reiki practitioners that will then circle around the room, spending a few minutes on each person, placing their hands on the receiver’s shoulders, head, back, arms, knees or even feet. They may also take your hands and place them over your own heart to transfer love energy. As the person receiving Reiki, you will simply sit, relax, meditate if you’d like. There are no requirements. Everyone is accepted. The session lasts about an hour. I find the group setting to be energizing. There are so many types of people in the room with everyone’s different energies. Yet, your experience is completely your own as you turn your awareness inward, forgetting everyone else is present.

An hour may seem like a long time to sit but it goes pretty quickly. I feel that the energy of the room and anticipating a practitioner making their way to you tends to pass the time more quickly. My back sometimes gets a bit tight when I’m sitting still but I found that when I started moving around at the end, I actually felt a couple adjustments and felt really good. My boyfriend felt like his spine and body were ascending during the session, as if he kept lengthening and straightening, yet was continuously able to lengthen and straighten more and more, upward and beyond his physical body.

There are endless benefits to reiki. The most common being relaxation and stress relief.

Other benefits of reiki include:

  • reduces physical pain
  • promotes emotional healing and spiritual growth
  • improves sleep
  • mental clarity and balance
  • dissolves energy blocks
  • reduce anxiety
  • allows for a more positive mindset
  • enhances intuition and creativity

Reiki can be a positive healing experience for anyone. There are no contraindications. It’s a great opportunity to practice meditation. Plan your next Friday night as one of relaxation and stress relief. You’ll be happy you did!

Your zen friend,