Are you seeking fulfillment in all the wrong places?
What are you really looking for when you scroll Facebook and Instagram? I asked myself this question with the recent, “earth-shattering” social media outage.
It seems the mindless scrolling is a search for some sort of fulfillment. It fills a void yet is hardly satisfying …… kind of like inhaling a whole bag of chips while bingeing Netflix. You’re giving your mind or your physical being something to do, to appease it and fill up space. Seeking fulfillment, yet the end result is frustration as it leaves you wanting more. You’re left comparing yourself to others, seeing the highlights of their lives through their chosen filtered lens.
What does it mean to be fulfilled?
According to Maslow’s Heirarchy of Needs, the need for physical well-being, safety and acceptance must be met before we can seek knowledge and understanding, followed by self-actualization and transcendence at a mental/spiritual level of being.
A tool I found that helps me to cut back on the mindless scrolling is an app called Positive Prime. Using neuroscience – backed technology, an audio-visual Positive Prime session will train your mind by opening the pathways to positive thinking, allowing you to feel happier and fulfilled in as little as 3 minutes. Imagine what could happen if you spent a few minutes of your day fueling your brain with positivity in place of numbing distractions…..
Mindfulness leads to fulfillment
Fulfillment is defined as a feeling of satisfaction at having achieved your desires. The state of being actual or complete.
Fulfillment comes from within, from experiencing a sense of actualization, accomplishment or completion.
The greatest sense of fulfillment comes from being mindful in anything you do. You can accomplish something and mark it off your to-do list or your bucket list but to be truly fulfilled, you must be present in the moment, acknowledge your achievements, and be grateful for the experience.
Taking steps that lead to a fulfilling life
If you’re dissatisfied with your life, then take action now to make it more fulfilling! It’s as simple as mindset. Here are 8 mindset tips you can start doing today.
1. Begin with looking at yourself. Have self-awareness of how others see you and how you show up in the world. Are you uplifting, positive and fun to be around? If you’re the Negative Nelly in the room, then you need to start making changes to your mindset. Having a negative outlook on life is draining for you and everyone else around you. Practice affirmations to turn negative thoughts into positives. It might seem insignificant but simply changing your self-talk has a powerful impact on how you view the world around you as well as how others perceive you.
2. At the same time, have self-compassion. Don’t be so demanding of yourself to the point where you’re always disappointed. Have reasonable expectations that allow for growth along with forgiveness. Loving yourself and all your flaws (we all have them) sets the standard for how others receive you. If you define yourself as the one that gets the wrong order at a restaurant whenever you go out, gets screwed over anytime you spend your hard earned money, is late all the time because of freakin’ traffic, etc… then that’s the role you’ll always play. Change your story and make yourself the hero instead of the victim.
3. Be accountable for your actions. You are the sole person responsible for your choices and actions. Don’t look to place blame when things don’t work out. Learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself and move forward. Imagine a life where things happen for you rather than to you.
4. Focus on your goals. What are your big dreams? Make a list of 3 things to focus on everyday that move you closer to your goals so you are continuously making progress. Always have something you’re working towards and be on a path of personal growth, expansion and purpose.
5. Find balance. Allow down time in your day. You don’t always have to be busy and productive. There is fulfillment in slowing down and reflecting on your journey. Be grateful for what you have. Develop a habit of meditating and journaling to expand your consciousness.
6. Celebrate others. Be appreciative of important people in your life. It’s easy to get caught up in complaining and seeing the negative side of people we are close with or picking apart those we don’t even know. Part of living a fulfilling life is about making strong connections. See the good in everyone and express gratitude for them.
I found myself being so impatient at the deli the other day! The clerk was so slow slicing my cheese, I could’ve brought it home and eaten it faster than she was slicing it! I stopped myself from the negative spiral I was headed down and considered the effort she was putting in to properly stacking and placing papers between each slice. Instead of being upset, I waited patiently and when she finally finished, I took a moment to let her know how much I appreciated her. That brief interaction was satisfying for both of us rather than having an unhappy customer and unappreciated employee.
Spend time getting to know others through meaningful conversations. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, open up and be vulnerable. You might be surprised by the connections you make.
7. Have fun. I know this is often tough as an adult. We forget to make the effort to have fun or even know how to have some fun. What hobbies do you have? How do you want to spend your day? Prioritize doing things that are enjoyable to you and stop trying to please everyone else.
8. Be healthy in body and mind. Take care of your body. The healthier you can be, the better you will feel all around. Your physical health sets the stage for a healthy mind and vice versa. Have a growth mindset so you are open to new ways of thinking. Make improvements by reaching out for help where you need it whether it’s with a friend, coach, therapist or personal trainer.
Creating the feelings you desire
“If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never be truly fulfilled.” — Lao Tzu
Fulfillment comes from within, from being present and the embracing the feeling of being satisfied.
Drop into your heart space, be present and aware, have gratitude and create the sense of fulfillment you are seeking. Allow it to fill your heart and spread through you and out of you to others. This feeling of fulfillment carries a high vibration which leads to a more peaceful and happy existence.
So tell me, do you feel fulfilled in your day-to-day life? What would you need to add or eliminate to feel even more fulfilled? Comment below with something that is working for you. I can’t wait to hear about it!
Your Zen Friend,
“To live a life fulfilled, reflect on the things you have with gratitude. ” — Jaren Davis