What does it mean to be fulfilled?
According to Maslow’s Heirarchy of Needs, the need for physical well-being, safety and acceptance must be met before we can seek knowledge and understanding, followed by self-actualization and transcendence at a mental/spiritual level of being.
Are you seeking fulfillment in the right places?
This thought came to mind with the recent social media outage. What are we really seeking when we go on social media sites or watching hours and hours of Netflix or even the news?
To me, it seems like the mindless scrolling is searching for some sort of fulfillment, though that’s hardly what I find.
But it fills a void. Much like mindless eating. You’re giving your mind or your physical being something to do, to appease it and fill up space. Seeking to be fulfilled, yet the end result is not at all fulfilling and rather frustrating because it leaves you feeling dissatisfied and still wanting more. We compare ourselves to others, seeing the highlights of their lives, edited and glorified.
Something that I’ve found works for me to cut back on the mindless scrolling is an app called Positive Prime. Using neuroscience – backed technology, an audio-visual Positive Prime session will train your mind by opening the pathways to positive thinking, allowing you to feel happier and fulfilled in as little as 3 minutes. Imagine what could happen if you spent just a few minutes of your day fueling your brain with positivity in place of numbing distractions.
Mindfulness leads to fulfillment
Fulfillment is defined as: a feeling of satisfaction at having achieved your desires. The state of being actual or complete.
Fulfillment comes from within, from experiencing a sense of actualization, accomplishment or completion.
The greatest sense of fulfillment comes from being mindful in anything you do. You can accomplish something and mark it off your to-do list or your bucket list but to be truly fulfilled, you must be present in the moment, acknowledge your achievements, and be grateful for the experience.
Taking steps that lead to a fulfilling life
If you’re feeling dissatisfied with your life, then it’s time to take deliberate action towards making it more fulfilling. A lot of it has to do with mindset. Here are 8 things you can do that will lead to a more fulfilling life.
1. Begin with looking at yourself. Have self-awareness of how others see you and how you show up in the world. Are you positive and fun to be around? If you are the negative person in the room, then start making changes to create a more positive mindset. Having a negative outlook on life is draining for you and everyone around you. Practice affirmations to turn negative thoughts into positives. It may seem insignificant but the simple process of changing your self-talk will have a powerful impact on how you view the world around you.
2. At the same time, have self-compassion. Don’t be overly demanding of yourself to the point where you’re always disappointed. Have reasonable expectations that allow for growth as well as forgiveness. Accepting yourself with your flaws (we all have them) sets the standard for how others receive you. If you designate yourself as the one that always gets the wrong order, gets screwed over, is always late, doesn’t have the money, etc… then that’s the role you’ll always play. Change your story and make yourself the hero instead of the victim.
3. Be accountable for your actions. You are the sole person responsible for your choices and actions. Don’t look to place blame when things don’t work out. Learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself and move forward. Imagine a life where things happen for you rather than to you.
4. Focus on your goals. What are your big dreams? Prioritize 3 things everyday that move you closer to your goals so you are continuously making progress. Always have something you’re working towards or looking forward to and be on a path of personal growth, expansion and purpose.
5. Find balance. Allow down time in your day. You don’t always have to be busy and productive. There is so much fulfillment in slowing down and reflecting on your journey. Spend time being grateful for what you have. Develop a habit of meditating and journaling to expand your consciousness.
6. Celebrate others. Be appreciative of the people in your life. It’s easy to get caught in the loop of complaining and seeing the negative side of people we are close with or even nitpicking people we don’t know that well. Part of living a fulfilling life is about making strong connections with people. See the good in everyone and express your gratitude for them.
I caught myself being impatient while I was in line at the deli last week. The lady was so slow slicing my cheese, my thought was that I’d bring the cheese home and we’d eat it faster than she was slicing it! I considered the effort she was putting in to properly stacking and placing papers between each slice. Instead of being upset, I waited patiently and when she finally finished, I took a moment to let her know how much I appreciated her. That brief interaction brought satisfaction to both of us rather than having an unhappy customer and unappreciated employee.
Spend time getting to know others through meaningful conversations. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, to open up and be vulnerable. You might be surprised by who you truly connect with.
7. Have fun. This can actually be tough as an adult. Sometimes we forget to make the effort to have fun or even know how to have fun. What hobbies do you have? Prioritize doing things that are enjoyable to you and don’t try to always please everyone else.
8. Be healthy in body and mind. Take care of your body. The healthier you can be, the better you will feel all around. Your physical health sets the stage for a healthy mind and vice versa. Have a growth mindset so you are open to new ways of thinking. Make improvements by reaching out for help where you need it whether it’s with a friend, coach, therapist or personal trainer.
Creating the feelings you desire
“If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never be truly fulfilled.” — Lao Tzu
Fulfillment comes from within, from being present and the embracing the feeling of being satisfied.
Drop into your heart space, be present and aware, have gratitude and create the sense of fulfillment you are seeking. Allow it to fill your heart and spread through you and out of you to others. This feeling of fulfillment carries a high vibration which leads to a more peaceful and happy existence.
I’m curious, do you generally feel fulfilled in your day-to-day life? What would you need to add or eliminate to feel even more fulfilled? Comment below with something that is working for you. I’d love to hear about it.
Your Zen Friend,
“To live a life fulfilled, reflect on the things you have with gratitude. ” — Jaren Davis