Transform – Let go of resistance and allow change to happen

I find myself questioning age calculations lately. How have I been a massage therapist for 26 years already? Is that right? Is it really 22 years ago that my friend got married? How is my daughter turning 18 this year? The math has to be off! I remember thinking how “old” my friend seemed when she said she was going to her 30 year high school reunion and here I am past that now. It goes so quick and sometimes we get stuck in the past, dwelling on how many years have passed by.

Resistance is a force that opposes motion, change or progress

Resistance is a force. Not just staying the same but physically, mentally, emotionally opposing what the future holds.

We have no way of knowing where life will take us in the future. Remember being in high school and wondering what everyone would look like or be like in 20 years, what the world would be like? Is it different than you thought? Did you think the fashion or music would always be the same? I loved the 80s hair bands, still do! Every generation has their own way, their own likes and dislikes and it seems if it’s different from how your generation did it (and it most definitely is), then it’s just wrong.

I’m more of a middle ground person, it’s in my nature. I’m an Aquarius who allows others to be themselves as long as I also get to be myself. I’m also a peacemaker so I am capable, sometimes to a fault, to see everyone’s perspectives on almost any situation. So the way I see it, we can’t fault the younger generations for their ways. The Boomers don’t like how Gen X does things either. I know this is not a popular opinion but I feel like we should let the Millennials and Gen Z find their own way, just like we did.

Most people tend to resist change because the new way of doing things is unfamiliar, nontraditional and let’s be honest, most of us just don’t like change.

What are you resisting right now? What are you holding on to?

Getting stuck in how things used to be will prevent you from moving forward in life. We weren’t meant to be stagnant or remain the same. Our purpose is for growth and expansion. We have to be willing to let go and accept that change is going to happen.

Easier said than done

We focus on all the things we’re unable to do that we used to do, no problem. Start to recognize something you can do now that you weren’t able to do when you were younger. What new habits or ways of doing things  have you brought in to your life? What are some things you appreciate about the younger generations now and the way they do things?

Have you kept up with the new technology or do you maybe need a little help? The kids now almost come pre-programmed and ready to grow with technology. Let them help you.

I was laughing with my friend the other day when she was attempting to answer her phone in the car but didn’t know whether the audio would come on through the speakers, the phone or her air pods … me too!! We are those people that are doing our best to keep up with it all but are struggling sometimes. You have to go with the flow of these changes.

Practice acceptance

Growth begins when we begin to accept our own weakness.  ~ Jean Vanier

Be open. Allow change to happen. Resistance is what makes it difficult.

We can’t foresee the future, not 30 years, not even 30 minutes. But we can choose every minute, every day, what we do want and how we respond to any situation. We can choose to be okay with it.

Acceptance is the act of allowing.

Letting go of resistance.

Allowing what is.

Accepting where you are.

Transformation.

Acceptance and resistance both create change

Acceptance and resistance are both actions, an act of allowing or an act of opposing. You choose which you are doing. Neither is passive. While the intention of resistance is to keep things the same, change is almost always inevitable.

So which do you choose, acceptance or resistance?

Chunking it down

If you’re having a hard time letting go of resistance, you can chunk it down into manageable increments. What is one small part of the bigger picture that you can accept? Start there and work your way through, step by step.

  • I don’t like physically aging and how everything is being done differently than it was when I was growing up.
  • I’m resistant to the years passing by. So many things have ended before I was ready for them to.
  • The changes are unfamiliar to me. I don’t feel comfortable. I have anxiety about everything happening around me that’s not in my control.
  • I understand there is a time to allow a new way of doing things.
  • I enjoy not having to be in control of it all.
  • There are some parts of this that I have to admit are really exceptional.
  • The more I observe and have experienced, the more I am able to appreciate all that is.
  • I accept that I have moved into a more mature state of wisdom.
  • I allow for change to occur as it is necessary in our expansion of awareness.
  • I embrace the change that is occurring as part of our evolution of experience.
  • I am at peace with my self, my surroundings and my experience.

Use this exercise with anything that feels overwhelming to you. Transform your consciousness through these small steps that lead to a higher level of consciousness, allowing energy to flow and expansion to occur.

Tell me about your experience and reach out if you need help working through any resistance that is holding you back.

Your Zen Friend,

Sheree

Adulting – Midlife Version

This past week, my mom and I took my niece and my daughter to Tallahassee to begin getting my niece prepared for her Fall start at FSU. My daughter will be starting college the following year, so we’ll be touring campuses for her too. So much excitement in knowing they will be starting their journey into adulthood, being independent and responsible for themselves, and having the freedom to make the choices they want, but so scary … lots of big changes ahead for them and for me!

Moving ahead in baby steps

I’m realizing it’s something to take in every single moment as the changes are taking place. At 17 and 19, there’s still a lot of teenager going on. I see where they want to be independent but also want things taken care of for them. They want to take charge but don’t know all the bases that need to be covered. They want freedom but not all the responsibility.

I talk to my daughter about being on her own, self-awareness, awareness of her surroundings, being prepared for the unexpected. She’s doing more daily things on her own as she discovers her independence. She has a bit of work experience which has helped her to be more outgoing and assertive. She and her boyfriend recently drove several hours out of town for the first time to go to an NBA game. This was a bigger step for me than for her. She took the initiative to use GrubHub to have cookies delivered to her at 1 AM (bonus: with her own money!) instead of complaining to me that she wanted something. I’m cautious but I put my fears aside, take a step back to allow her to lead and support her through making her own decisions whether I totally agree with them or not.

We help our children transition into adulthood by providing guidance and giving space for growth, allowing them to make mistakes. Baby steps. Gradual.

Yet, I still find myself with so many questions with unknown answers that will have to be planned and figured out as we go along.

What if I’m not ready for them to leave? How does this change the day to day routine? What about all the girl’s days shopping and getting pedicures and the summer trips to the Keys we do together? I cherish these as it’s been our tradition for the four of us to do together. Is it coming to an end? Will we be able to still find time to do these things together?

But I wasn’t ready!

We instinctively prepare our kids for the next steps as they grow from baby to toddler to teen and into adulthood. But who prepares us as adults?

It seems there is a stopping point. We keep going physically but often we hit a wall and don’t want or know how to go further.

It’s a lot to process and can be overwhelming. Any significant life transition most likely will feel this way.

What do you do once the kids have left? Who do you become when you’re no longer so busy being Mom? How do you spend your down time you longed for but now are so lost with what to do?

Have you felt this way before? Who is preparing YOU for your next season?

Steps to ease a transition

You can move forward gracefully and with a plan. It’s an opportunity to create the life YOU want. It’s your time to make decisions, to take the lead, to know what you want and how it looks and what you want to feel … much like a teenager becoming an adult …

  1. Recognize the parts of what’s changing that you are trying to hold on to. What are your fears? Are they valid or is your anxiety taking hold of the unknown? Accept that you are feeling this way, give yourself permission to be a little scared and nurture yourself rather than trying to push through. Embrace what you are feeling. Write it down in a journal and/or talk about it with someone. My friend Lisa had expressed about a personal transition she went through, “Stay in the moment, expecting the best although not knowing how it will play out. Mentally, I was able to prepare and plan but the emotional hurdles of transition were the most challenging.”
  2. Find support through a friend, coach, counselor, mentor or someone has been through a similar experience and has reached a positive outcome. Be careful not to get wrapped up in a complaining session. Use communication as a breakthrough rather than finding company in your woes. It’s always easier to meet the lower vibration but you can take the lead here and even be a motivator to someone else.
  3. Look to the future. What are you looking forward to as a result of the journey? There is always something waiting on the other side … so many possibilities! Are you going to have more time on your hands? Consider all the new opportunities available to you. What have you been putting on the back burner that you’ll finally have time for? (Give this some thought, journal through some ideas … you may not be used to thinking about yourself first.) Be open to the growth process.
  4. Let go of any resistance you are still feeling. Know that you are going through a transformation and it can be uncomfortable. Be okay with that and allow it to happen naturally.
  5. Explore helpful tools that might be new to you. If you have never meditated before, now is an opportune time to start. When I’m going through any kind of stressful situation, I prioritize my meditation practice. With a clear mind, I find I’m able to stay more relaxed and calm, make better decisions, process through my thoughts as I recognize the repeating patterns and let them flow through me, and not be overwhelmed with everything going on. Insight Timer or the Calm app are very easy to get started with.

You got this!

The most important thing is not to get stuck. Take advantage of the opportunity to visualize the life you want on the other side and set manifestation in progress through your thoughts and actions. This is your time to CREATE THE LIFE YOU DESIRE!

If you are in a stage of transition right now, what does the process look like for you, how are you moving forward and where do you want to end up? Message me or post in the comments. I’d love to hear about it!

Your Zen Friend,

Sheree